We Not Only Got Your News, We also Got the Letters Thereof
Seriously, click here or right up there to skip this nonsense and get straight to it. Why even have the nonsense at all, if it seems to be so obviously counterproductive? Unclear! Why don’t you try designing a website and filling it with content while also being a weirdo with an unnecessary grasp on the English language? Then come talk to me about counterproductive!
Look, I get it; I know: newsletters are annoying, they clutter your inbox because you never read them, and unsubscribing always feels like more of a hassle than just swiping the irritating email away when it shows up, and never having to think about again…for a couple of weeks.
But here’s the thing: I’m extremely lazy! I can pretty much guarantee that I won’t ever be interested in writing and sending more than two of those newsletters a month. And I will almost never send you unsolicited pictures of my genitals. So it’s a win for me and a draw for you; that’s practically a win-win!
Yeah, I know; I seem sort of insufferable. But I am also prepared to give you one of my novels for FREE, so maybe stop whining about it for a while, yeah?
Here’s the deal: if you would like a FREE copy of the short novel The Sword of Vathir, all you have to do is sign up for my newsletter! (Like the words in the mountains say, its mostly free).
So Just Give Me Your Email, Already.
Look, the fact is that selling books online as an independent author is not easy, because it’s difficult to compete with the large publishing companies and their seemingly unlimited marketing budgets.
Who are they selling these books to, you might ask? I don’t know; douchebags?
All I know is that they aren’t buying my books, I and my dismal bank account can attest to that..
The humbling truth is that we independent authors are ironically dependent on our mailing lists to drive interest in our books.
So please, I’m essentially begging you in the most literal way possible without being able to physically get down on my knees: please just join my mailing list.
Join the Newsletter!
Get semi-regular updates on the progress of the new book(s), plus random information about the author which you probably never wanted to know! Like, for example, did you know that only 10 of my toes are non-webbed?
Maybe even JOIN REVIEW TEAM, and help your new favorite community grow so large that it makes you sick!
Then you get to say stuff like, “Man I read those books before they were even popular;” or “Remember when Donovan hadn’t sold out yet?” And “Yeah, I read them; back when it was cool.” That’s like 90% of the reason everyone does everything: to be able to brag about not liking things anymore!
And if you play your cards right (by showing any interest whatsoever) you could even JOIN THE PRE-RELEASE TEAM and help me make final edits to upcoming releases.
And seriously…that thing about the genitals, and any alleged pictures thereof, was probably just a joke.